The wake and funeral are both somber occasions, so it’s natural to want to dress appropriately. It can be challenging to know what’s expected at these events, though, as they vary by culture and religion. The best thing you can do is ask your hosts or friends who have been in similar situations before; they’ll know exactly how to help you out. As an added bonus, they’ll probably appreciate the gesture of picking up a nice outfit for them!
First thing’s first, check the invitation
First thing’s first: check the invitation. The host will have indicated whether you should dress up or down, and it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. If you don’t know, ask! If you’re unsure, err on the side of dressing up it’s better to be wearing a suit that’s too formal than something too casual for an event like this.
Bring a jacket in case it’s cold inside
If you’re going to a funeral, it’s good to be prepared for cold weather. You should bring a jacket in case the service takes place inside of an indoor space.
You might think that you’ll be fine without your jacket if it’s warm outside and you end up seeing the casket outside before the service starts, but I recommend keeping your coat handy in case things get chilly later on. For example: there could be more people than expected at the wake or they may have turned up the air conditioning and not thought about how everyone would feel from being in such close proximity to one another after already grieving for their loved ones during such an emotional day.
If it turns out that you don’t need your jacket after all, no worries! There are plenty of other ways for others to benefit from having an extra layer around them, this is one way we can help those who have lost someone special find peace during their grieving process
Wear layers, even if you think you won’t need them
You may think you don’t need to worry about the weather when you’re going to wear to a wake or funeral, but you’d be surprised how quickly it can change. It’s better to be prepared for anything than for nothing. Even if it seems like the temperature will be in the 70s, bring an extra layer in case it drops or gets windy outside. It’s better to be cold than hot!
You might also want to bring something warm and comfy: your favorite sweater, fleece-lined leggings (or jeans), or cozy socks. If you know ahead of time that these are things that make you feel good, pack them up in your bag so they’ll be ready for when needed.
Choose a dark-colored outfit, but not black
A funeral is a somber occasion, so you want to be respectful of the family and their loved ones. While you may want to wear your favorite bright-colored dress or suit, it’s best to keep things simple and dark for this occasion.
Don’t wear black: Black isn’t appropriate at a wake because it doesn’t convey mourning or respect—it’s simply too formal.
Make sure your clothes fit properly
- Make sure your clothes fit properly.
- Don’t wear anything too tight or too loose.
- Don’t wear anything that is too short or too long for the occasion.
Skip the accessories in favor of comfort and simplicity
When you’re dealing with a death, it’s best to keep your look simple. It’s not the time to wear accessories that may fall off in the middle of receiving condolences or that could make you feel uncomfortable for being too flashy. You can still dress up without going overboard but going for comfort and simplicity are key.
Avoid wearing too much jewelry: Wearing necklaces and bracelets may seem like an easy way to add some glamour to any outfit, but when you’re at someone else’s wake or funeral and spending a lot of time receiving condolences from people who might not know your loved one, it doesn’t make sense to have something on that might get in their way or cause them discomfort when they go in for a hug (or even worse—a handshake). Keep everything simple by keeping only one necklace on—and maybe skip earrings altogether!
Boots are a great option when you don’t know what kind of weather to expect
If you aren’t sure what kind of weather to expect, or if you’re concerned about how formal or informal the funeral or wake will be, boots are a great option. They’ll keep your feet warm and dry regardless of what Mother Nature decides to throw at you.
Try to make sure your outfit works for both occasions
- Wear something dark and simple.
- Make sure it’s dressy enough for the funeral, but not so dressy that it’s inappropriate for the wake.
- If you’re attending both the wake and funeral, try to make sure your outfit works for both occasions.
Be respectful in your clothing choice, but don’t stress about it too much
It’s not a fashion show, so don’t stress too much about what you wear. Make sure your outfit is appropriate for the occasion. The general rule of thumb is to keep it simple and classy: no short skirts or revealing tops. Avoid wearing anything that could be misconstrued as a mourning color (black, navy blue), unless it’s part of an ensemble with other colors as well. For example, if you’re wearing a black suit jacket and skirt but have on red shoes and jewelry or a hot pink blouse beneath your jacket, people can still tell that you’re dressed appropriately for the occasion even though some of your choices are unconventional.
If you’re going to wear black specifically because its what people expect from mourners (or are worried about being perceived as disrespectful), keep in mind that it’s actually more common practice these days not to wear black at all! So, if someone tells you they “expect” everyone at the wake/funeral (whatever) will be dressed in black at this time period/culture/event etc., know that there are plenty of exceptions out there who don’t conform to those expectations!
Conclusion
Hopefully, we’ve given you a few ideas for clothing that’s appropriate for the wake or funeral. Remember to be respectful of the bereaved family and their wishes in how they want to remember their loved one. If you’re going to both the wake and funeral, choose an outfit that will work for both, so you don’t need different outfits or accessories. And of course, check with whoever is hosting before making any final decisions on what type of clothing would be appropriate!